I Wrote the Vision

Every new year at our church, our pastor would preach a sermon called, "Write the Vision". He read from Habakkuk chapter 2, encouraging each person to write down a list of goals or things he/she wanted to see happen in his/her life.

From the very first days at my Word of Faith church, I took to heart much of what I was learning and had a growing vision for my family that included homeschool, missions, and ministry in general. I was building my life on the hope that that vision would become a reality. Church wasn't just church for me. It was a new way of life and the start of my family embarking on God's calling on our lives. I had such confidence in the direction we were going. I felt such optimism. I believed that our lives were actually going to count and that not only could we raise children that would come to personally know Jesus as savior, but also that we could impact the world and change the course of history.

Of course, the plan majored on my children. I had an intense desire to homeschool them to be independent thinkers and have stellar character. This plan to homeschool was dependent upon the church to be our social outlet.

Another component of this vision was ministry, specifically missions. The plan was not just me and/or my husband but the entire family taking the Gospel to a lost and dying world. We would bring living bread to dying souls. The children could see how the rest of the world lives outside of the pop culture bubble that is America. It was a call my husband and I heard very clearly-on more than one occasion.

The calling was intertwined with our work in the church. We thought the mission opportunities would arise as we volunteered in various departments of ministry.

I had confidence that I could believe that God would bring all these things to pass. Every time I began to sense the slightest worry about what would become of my children, I would go back to the things I had written down. I would quote scriptures and pray. I was so thankful to have a hope and a future for my kids. But, gradually, my plans began to crumble.

The social network and support I had been counting never materialized. We didn't have a lot of money which meant the kids didn't "fit in". Camaraderie and emotional connections never grew. But, I thought, no worries! I'll try harder...but it was to no avail. Then the final and most devastating blow came.

We found out that our "pastor" was a covetous liar, hungry for money and covering up the truth. We left our "church".

We then set out on the intimidating task of finding a new church. After a year and a half, we think we have found one. The problem? It's tiny. There are no peers for my kids. So, I am going to have to abandon homeschooling and enroll them in public school.

The point of this post is try to communicate to people how someone can become invested in something so twisted as the Word of Faith and why the aftermath can be so devastating. Our entire life's plans fell when we discovered the truth about our "pastor".

-MW