How to Judge "Year Prophecies" Part One

January 1: NewYear’s Day! And with a New Year comes a new rash of “ Year Prophecies.” During the 10 years that my family and I were in the Word of Faith movement, such prophecies became common at the beginning of each year. They ran the gamut from brief messages (anyone remember “1996: The Year of the Fix”?) to some that were several paragraphs long. So how does one know that a prophecy given about the New Year is really from God? Here are a few tips to see if your Man of God’s prophetic word passes muster.

1. It is delivered at the start of the year
If someone gives a year prophecy in July, proceed with caution. That is not a year prophecy; it’s a half-year prophecy. However, giving a year prophecy at the Jewish New Year is okay.

2. Rhyme Scheme
A prophecy becomes all the catchier and memorable if it rhymes. Then the Praise and Worship team can set it to music (see article Play That Funky Music )http://theautonomyofthebeliever.blogspot.com/2009/03/play-that-funky-music.html

3. No Rhyme
There is nothing written anywhere that says a Year Prophecy must rhyme. Don’t limit God by your unbelief or your iambic pentameter. The longer the prophecy, the harder it is to rhyme, although I have seen it done.

4. Has Grammatical Errors Consistent with the Way Your Man of God Speaks
If your prophet or pastor says for example, “dispazootions” instead of “dispensations”, “tooken” instead of “taken” or has a strong Midwestern or Southern accent, the prophecy will sound like that. It’s just God's way of letting you know that every time this man speaks, it’s God speaking through him.

5. Lack of Specifics
Remember that book that gave 88 reasons Christ would return in 1988? If you do, then you realize that a Year Prophecy isn’t going to set any dates or name names or give too much specific information. It only needs to bear witness with your spirit. It’s not going to be really negative either, you can read Jeremiah if you need a rebuke. It will be something to the effect of “God has a blessing for you, and it might get tough for some of you this year but hang in there and we will all be blessed before it’s over with.”

What Now?

We have been out of the Word of faith for over a year. What now? After we left the church we visited nearby churches for over 3 months (we live in a rural area, by the way.). I would suggest everyone give that a shot for a while. I had not gone visiting like that in 11 years. It was quite an eye opener.

I could have a lot of fun describing what we saw at these 100-person-or-less churches. I have a sardonic sense of humor anyway and the church search was not helping. We laughed at some absurdities we saw and cried at the same time wondering "Is this it? Are we just out of luck?"

As we left one church, our kids complained that they couldn't figure out what the minister was talking about. This was understandable because my wife and I were having the same problem. It was the ol' spit-cotton lose-sermon-notes ploy, as Inspector Clouseau might say.

Then there were the churches that freaked because strangers showed up. For some it was bewilderment mixed with slight annoyance that strangers broke in. There was also the other extreme: they were so welcoming and READY for you to join the family that it was too awkward.

There was the church that we joked must be where you go if you plan to run for local political office. Having said that, a few days after our visit, someone from that church had a photo on the front page of the local paper promoting their latest civic service.

One church was relaxed beyond all comprehension. The 20 or so people there were so relaxed they were numb. Maybe that's why one really large person was sitting in a recliner. It was too odd to sit through so we tried to leave as discreetly as we could in a crowd of 20. (Fortunately, the noise the recliner made as the lady kept getting up and "plopping" down to fetch her toddler helped distract the congregants as we slipped out the door.)

We visited a church in our area of a denomination that has a very 'soulwinning' reputation. We came into weeknight service and nobody knew where our kids were supposed to go, including the teachers. So do outsiders really never show up there unannounced?

One of the first churches we visited in the area was a 'Mega-Church Lite.' It had the megachurch identity without megachurch numbers (we are in the country, remember). The main auditorium was darkened (for recording television broadcasts) and they had the praise band that played the current popular songs. I also sensed the ambitiousness of the pastors. Their overall presentation was just right for getting larger crows. There were references in the service we attended about how much the pastors were in demand as speakers across the country. This was too much deja-vu from what we had just left in the Word of Faith. Everyone was captivated by their own awesomeness.

We did attend a small church for several months hoping for a little down-home reality and honesty. Nothing spectacular, just a dose of real-life. It was then that we got a taste of how much church has become an odd combination of tradition, self-help and pop culture Christianity. We even saw troubling aspects of the Word of Faith creeping in, which caused us to jump ship immediately.

So for the time being, I'm cooling my jets on church. I'm not even getting to the questions of why do we do church the way we do (I have a lot of those.) At this point I'm just asking the basic question of 'Why am I sitting through this?' I wish we'd taken a break like this a while back. There is not a clear way out on this topic but that's were I am.