Narcissistic Pastor in Action

The Where is Character blog has a great article on the activities of a narcissistic pastor as he railed against a rival church.



The narcissist pastor of the church my family attended spent time for many weeks talking about rival preachers stealing his congregants.



Sounds like paranoia to me.


http://whereischaracter.blogspot.com/2009/07/flesh-church.html

Money Cometh...Out of Your Pocket...Into Mine

I was recently reading some sermon notes I had by a well-known faith preacher. We will call him Someone I Once Followed. The notes were on the topic of Faith (surprise!). As I was reading, I was reminded of some things I liked about the Word of Faith. What I was reading expressed a lot of commitment to the Bible as God’s Word. I had not heard that kind commitment to the Word of God in the denominations that I was familiar with. We had all believed that the Bible was inspired and inerrant but these Faith guys expressed reliance and dependence on the Bible in unequivocal terms. Their attitude was “This is God’s Word and I’ll do whatever it says, even if it seems to my own hurt.” The Bible was also given as a basis for communion with God and as the only way to find fulfillment. I was not hearing these concepts expressed with such fire and enthusiasm until I encountered the WOF. That was part of the attraction for me. This was communicated very clearly in the Faith movement. It was a contrast to what I had been used to hearing. When I could find a clear point being communicated, it was something like “be committed and don’t get your hopes up.”

(A little footnote: I know people have itching ears to hear convenient messages but of those of us with orthodox doctrine fail to clearly and aggressively articulate the basic messages of Christianity backed with moral character, we are going to continue to face problems like this in the Evangelical movement.)

Anyway these faith preachers were inspiring because of their example of commitment to God’s Word. While reflecting on the notes I was reading, I was reminded of one of the many disappointments I’ve had with the WOF: there was something that the leaders and preachers ultimately had a greater commitment to than faith.

That something was money.

I have observed symptoms of the Faith movement’s love affair with money. The church I attended for years usually gave a mini-sermon before tithes were taken up. I had friends who were going through a severe financial crisis and stopped tithing. The pastor told them that failing to tithe was the biggest mistake they could have made. This from a guy who was famous for preaching that if people gave money to him, they would be blessed and have what amounted to good luck. This was back when Leroy Thompson’s “Money Cometh” message was hot and people were stuffing the preacher’s coat pocket with cash. If it was going to damage this couple so bad, why didn’t he give them money to tithe from? It wasn’t like he didn’t have the money. We could also talk a long time about WOF ministries being investigated for inappropriate use of non-profit money. Financial transparency is unheard of in Faith churches because the leader has final say on all church matters.

I don’t see how a minister can be “A man of the Word” and ignore Biblical admonitions to ethical behavior. I guess they really are “favorite Word people.”

The “Convenient Doctrines” of Preachers in Sin

Rich Vermillion at his Kenneth Copeland blog (which he calls a "loving rebuke", by the way) discusses some of my favorite topics in the Word of faith.

I am encouraged by the criticism and calls for reform that he and Mel Montgomery have made from within the WOF movement but we still have a long way to go.

http://kennethcopelandblog.com/2008/10/22/the-%e2%80%9cconvenient-doctrines%e2%80%9d-of-preachers-in-sin/

Be Silent No More

But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.

Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!

Matthew 18:6-7

The Word of Faith has a couple of teachings that I am offended by..

One is the teaching on Spiritual Fathers and the other is on Offence.

Both of these teachings have a common element: intimidation.

In these teachings the pastor says that if you become offended at a preacher or if you break ties with your Spiritual Father you are in danger. During the sermon he cites various unnamed examples who "got offended because I got blessed." To him, "blessed" means he got money, a car, a house, or an airplane.

He claims that the offended ones eventually suffer various calamities: divorce, bankruptcy and even death. (Even though these very things happen to his own congregation.)
I have even heard a pastor explain how an individual can 'borrow' another person's offence, so a person shouldn't even talk to offended brethren.

You are taught that if you separate from him or church that you will lose your blessing (for laypeople, that means promotion at church). Don't get offended, he says. "God wants to promote you, just be mature and go on despite any offending behavior." He tells you that if you leave you could find yourself outside of God's plan for your life, as if to insinuate that serving the pastor is God's plan for your life.

You would think that your salvation rested on the one in the pulpit. It appears your life is in jeopardy without him.

That is intimidation and control.

How does this behavior reflect Jesus? He did not use intimidation tactics to maintain a following.

Good Christian people stay in these churches because they are afraid that what the pastor is saying is true.

If you go to a church where you hear this kind of talk regularly, you don't have to accept it.

It's not true.

People become offended in Word of Faith churches because the ministers are not accountable to anyone and behave offensively.

Churchgoers become 'offended' because of financial misconduct, immorality and just plain unkind behavior.

If this is your church, don't let intimidation silence you.

Do not accept unrighteous behaviour from your leaders.

Do not allow injustices to continue , do not be silent.

Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.
But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.
And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.

Matthew 18:15-17

Why did we do it?

Why did we do it? In the posts preceding this one, we describe an unflattering picture of the Word of faith church we attended faithfully for 10 years. What drew us there, and why did we stay so long?

There are several reasons why. The first being that there was nothing to keep us in our old churches. The churches we had grown up in seemed to be in a rut. Congregations had their local and denominational identities and for the most part, church seemed, ...well.... almost discouraging. In contrast what we heard in the Word of faith was an aggressive Christianity. God had not relegated his more overt activities to the past ages. Mark 16:15-20 was a reality. We heard messages about the blood of Jesus, spiritual gifts, miracles, about an active and aggressive faith. The Bible came alive to me at this time. The accounts told in it seemed real and vital.

One thing also to consider is that Christians believe what other Christians will tell them. They don't call us 'Believers' for nothing. When you think about it, it's a beautiful thing, to believe. Isn't that who we really are? Aren't we blessed for believing without any other evidence than on the basis that Jesus said so? But we are sometimes gullible, sometimes too quick to believe anything (anyone care to discuss chain e-mails that people forward?) without verifying. Then you begin believing wrong things.

We were looking for spiritual depth. In the old churches, you knew the history and you knew about the squabbles over petty issues. The pastors would gripe and moan from the pulpit about the church people, news headlines or hopeless negative societal trends. In contrast, the Faith churches emphasised growing up and being a mature Believer (although this got paired with authority and offence teaching). The way the prosperity message was administered to us was that Christians should prosper in order to send the gospel into the world (check up on your definition of 'Gospel').

So we went expecting to get direction from God in the church services. We were seeking to progress in spiritual things. We were not expecting to be taken advantage of. We were not expecting that strange things would be slid in doctrinally between familiar topics. I've recently watched DVDs of old church services. My wife and I have noticed things that we just did not see before: arrogance, doctrinally questionable statements, and just plain bad logic.

At least we know now. Never again!

"Suffer the Little Children" not "Make the Little Children Suffer"

One of many disturbing things which I observed during my ten years at my old church was the attitude towards children. Whether it was church services or social functions there seemed to be an underlying disdain for kids. (I am automatically suspicious of someone who treats his pets better than he does his own children.)

The church had, what I like to refer to as, "baby police" patrolling the sanctuary looking for the ever offensive, gurgling, cooing, or crying of small ones. With these officers in control, we needn't worry about some unthoughtful baby destroying the anointing in the service by burping or laughing. What a relief that we could focus on the most important things in life(making more money or looking good to the world)! Countless times I thought to myself, "If only there were no children allowed in the church building at all, then we could really get serious in our worship." Fortunately for us, the baby police kept the disruptions to a minimum.

Then there were the social functions or "special meetings" where kids weren't allowed. If you really wanted to offend someone, just slip your child in the door with you. You'd be swiftly ushered right out the way you came. In one case a person asked a mom to bring her husband to sit in the car with her NEWBORN. Dad could "give him a bottle of water if he starts to cry"(since mom only nurses the baby). That way, no one at the meeting would have to even look at a kid while they were "being fed" The Word.

I understand now that this attitude came from the pastor and his wife. These are things which were important to them. No doubt that helped explain the behavior of the pastor's adult daughter. She became the teacher to the young kids. Many sweet children had the misfortune of being in her class only to be yelled at and intimidated. One mother described her son becoming very anxious every time he went to class. He refused to go to class without going to the restroom out of fear of angering the teacher and being embarrassed by her in front of the entire class. Another small child reported, "Mom, I don't want to go in there. She yells at everyone all the time." A certain lady helped teach the class on one occasion. She was appalled at how the children were spoken to. She said, "I wouldn't talk to my dog that way."

I believe now that the pastor's daughter was only imitating her father. I look back and marvel that some angry mother didn't set her straight.

In spite of the bad behavior of the pastor's family, many workers in all the children's classes were kind, gentle, and devoted to the kids. That would definitely be the character of Christ shining through those Christians. I am so thankful for those people.

It flows from the head

One of the things we noticed when began going to our Word of Faith church was the often disturbing character of the congregation. Although there were exceptions, our church was consistently unfriendly. A relative who also attended church there with us for a while maintains it was the most unfriendly church he's ever been in. When we began attending there, we felt as if people kept us at arm's length. At the time my wife and I were in our early to mid-twenties. I would introduce myself to people and have what I could only describe as comically bad experiences. This happened time and time again...the usher who looked past me the whole 5 minutes I tried to converse with him or the guy who didn't like what my infant son had on...after a while you are asking yourself if you are on Candid Camera. It was such a common occurrence that it became a running joke with my wife and me; we'd introduce ourselves just to see how bad it turned out.

Why did we put up with it for so long? In our first months at the church we heard messages on avoiding offence that made an impression on us. We heard another from one minister how he stuck out seemingly bad treatment from famous preachers but was ultimately vindicated for his faithfulness. We felt that spiritually maturity was being emphasized. My wife and I had seen enough petty behavior in the churches we grew up in that these messages appealed to us. We wanted to do the right thing and take the high road in the way we conducted ourselves with people.

Something else that was hard to explain was some of the congregants that were embraced and held up as examples by the pastor. Some were people we knew of through family and they were, well, not very likable people. Actually some were just plain jerks. But we were going to be spiritual about it. After all, everybody puts their best face on at church.

When we first began attending the church, we had no contact with the pastor (Perhaps the presence of ushers who were more like personal bodyguards had something to do with it). But over the years as we were serving in various volunteer positions we had the opportunity to observe him and his family, particularly the adult children of the pastor. We had begun to wonder that maybe the aloof and distant personality of our church had to do with the staff ministers' influence on the pastor. Our church was comprised of several hundred people with several ministers on staff. Surely it was one of them. Then as the pastor's adult children began to be placed in prominent positions (read: nepotism), we saw occasions of nasty behavior in them. Maybe it's was the kids' influence on the pastor? After all they were at the top of the cast system. Then it began to dawn on us the last 3 years there that perhaps the pastor was the problem. The signs were there all along but we did not want to face up to it, although our families had seen it all along.

We were taught a lot about authority in the Word of Faith. It stemmed from the belief of the believer's delegated authority over the devil. It was said that if you were not under authority you didn't have any authority. People would say that 'authority flows from the head.' Apparently so did disdain, snobbery, meanness and manipulation. The pastor's behaviors were echoed in the behavior of some congregants. I learned as a parent that whatever behaviors the parent displays, they legitimize those same behaviors in their kids. It later became very plain that some of the behavior we witnessed at church echoed the behavior of the pastor.

The Caste System

When I first became acquainted with the Word of Faith movement in the 1990s, the ministers were being called 'Faith preachers.' It was during the 10 years that we attended our Faith church that the ministers were being called 'Prosperity preachers' more and more frequently.

Our pastor fancied himself quite the prosperity preacher, too. He would tell stories from the pulpit of how well his prosperity messages were received at headquarters and his various speaking engagements. At this period of time in the late 90's, church services might culminate with a preacher's coat pockets literally being stuffed with money as the congregation spontaneously brought checks and cash to their feet en masse.

At the time I had no qualms about such behaviour. As a preacher's kid myself, I had seen family members treated poorly and taken advantage of. I knew some preachers who had sacrificed a lot and needed to have their coat pockets stuffed with money (still do).

In hindsight, it's hard to imagine that putting so much emphasis on money could ever have a positive outcome. It's almost funny the logic at work in our church: you have faith, you exercise your faith through words...confess what you want and you'll have it. What you do? Confess and believe yourself into a better financial position!

Then we make another assumption, that the people in our church who have more money got it by applying their faith (not by hard work, talent and life circumstances all possibly combined). So who are the most spiritual people in church? People who have money. And as your ministry grows, who becomes your high-value segment of the congregation? People with money.

Now no one in our church believed that money was a sign of spirituality. The pastor even decried such thinking from the pulpit. But in practice there was a caste system in place that became more obvious as our church grew out of it's old facilities into a shiny new building and campus. It was also obvious in the behavior of some (though not all) of the more exalted members of the congregation. At the top of the pyramid was the pastor and his family, then the people with money. The third group was those who worked the volunteer positions. At the bottom were the people who were poor or disadvantaged. Sounds mixed up? It is. If you were on the lower levels of the caste system, you were bound to feel inferior.

For years we could not believe that the caste system we saw in action was real. After all, we were hearing exciting things about faith, about the power of God, about the place God had for all of us at this church. Our pastor seemed to possess wisdom beyond his years. We thought maybe we are the ones who didn't get it. So we ignored a lot of things and carried the water for our church in order to be spiritually mature.

Eventually the love of money was one of the 2 things that was our old church's undoing (more on that later). What kind of Christian place of worship would encourage such thinking? I stopped inviting people to our church because of the treatment they would would likely receive. What kind of Christian leadership would exploit such a system for their own gain? My experience has been that the prosperity message breeds an attitude of inequality amongst congregants that only benefits those who promote this message.

Welcome my friends to the show that never ends....

This is the story of one family's 10+ years in the Word of Faith movement and subsequent departure from our 'Faith church.' Not only have we had to deal with leaving a controlling, manipulative church but we have arrived to see the strange state of Evangelical Christianity in America. These are our observations and comments on life during our time in the Word of Faith and since.

The blog title is a take on a Kenneth Hagin's book The Authority of the Believer. Coming from a controlling church, we place great value in a Christian's responsibility to not follow men or the crowd but to think for yourself.